A Conversation with the Family Historian

Last week a dude named K (it's K, not T, like I had said in a previous post) called me, by suggestion of Cy.  K is my great-grandfather's nephew, my grandfather's cousin.  He lives in Atlanta and is a retired airline pilot.  He's 75.  He is the family genealogist.  He is the keeper of records.

I found K fascinating and kind.  We talked for over an hour.  He is a delightful man, friendly and generous, and passionate about genealogy and history.  He told me about his love for old time mountain music and bluegrass, and his house in northern Georgia.  I can't wait to talk to him again.

K's great aunt wrote and recorded the "Who Am I?" genealogy book Cy sent me a few weeks ago.  K is updating the information for future publication and family research.  He's the keeper of the database, of the records for the family.

When I further described to him who I was (Dale's oldest granddaughter from his first marriage), K consulted his database to better frame our conversation. 

Oh, he said, I'm sorry, who are you?

I'm Dale's granddaughter from his first marriage.

Ok.  I, uh, see he had three children there.

Yes...

He read the names of my aunts and my mother.  And then went on to read the names of his children from the second family, their children, their grandchildren, and so on.

That's where it stops.  There's no information about the line through your grandmother.

I'm not listed in there?

Uh, no.  Your mom is, though.

I have to say I was disappointed and saddened.  But, I also saw this as an opportunity, to tie us back to the line, to find ourselves in the family database.

K, I said, I would be happy to send you information about my family if it might be of interest to you?

Oh yes, yes.  It would be.  I'll put it in the database.

And then.  I will be a legitimate part of the family.  A victory.

I talked to K for about an hour, asking questions about the ancestry, Dale, and anything he could tell me about the family line.  I learned a lot from him.

Thing One

K told me that he had met Cy and Dale when they were children.  They played together at their grandparents' house.  I asked if he was in touch with them later in life.

He said, well, I shouldn't tell you this.  But, there were a lot of problems, you know, with alcohol and marital problems, in both Cy and Dale's families.  How can I put this... there were a lot of divorces.  Divorces can really mess people up.  And estrangements.  The kids didn't talk to their parents.  And the kids had some problems.  A few of them ended up here, in Atlanta, with drug problems.

As pathetic as this may seem, I was actually a little comforted to know that our part of the family was not an anomaly, the estrangement, I mean, and the messed up people.  It seems to have had a history, a deep seating...

K said he had never met any of Dale's children (from either his first or second marriage)

Thing Two

K told me some of the immigration stories of the family...

The family is of Scottish - Irish descent.  The family were landowners had a castle on the coast of Scotland, but they lost it to another family because of "riotous behavior."  He said he has visited the castle (only a tower remains) and will! send! me! copies of the pictures he has.

COOL.

Due to religious persecution, the family migrated to Northern Ireland.  They bought some land and raised sheep on it, they were able to make a good living from the wool.  The government did not like this at all, felt like the brothers were taking away their business, and so they were heavily taxed.  They came to the United States in the first wave of Scotts-Irish mid 17th century and settled in New England.

The family migrated to Iowa in the mid-19th century.  They bought land, established the land as farms, and sold it to a newly arrived homesteader.  The current cemetery of one town in Iowa is on land donated from my family to the town.  Many of my ancestors are buried there.  I plan to see it the next time I am there.

Thing Three

I told K I was contemplating a trip to Iowa this summer to do some research on Dale and Dale's life.  He gave me the name and address of his uncle who lives in my mother's hometown.  He said he might know more, and be able to show me the houses where my relatives used to live.  

COOL.

K said he would send me a copy of the family database he has.  I'm planning to pass it along to my cousins and brothers.  

And, Thing Four

A few times during the conversation, K made comments like:  he looks like a Family Member.  He has that look.  Or, she acted like a typical Family Member.  I realized that I've used such phrases describing qualities of family members related to my paternal line, but never to my maternal line.  I realized that I didn't know what a maternal Family Member looks like or acts like.  And I wanted to know.

K couldn't describe the looks of a Family Member.  I suppose I can already see a corrolation between my grin and Dale's, but I am curious what the typical features of a Family Member might be.  And what about the health history?  I want to see more photos.

But I was most intrigued by his comment about how a typical Family Member acts.  He said, we are all generous and kind.  History of this.  Outgoing and friendly. Likes to go to parties. Have a good time.  Always letting strangers in.  Sometimes to a fault.

Yep.  That's me.  I fit there.

I teared up.

In other news... 

I called my half-aunt, C, today, but didn't reach her.  

I have not yet heard back from Dale's other children. I really hope they are willing to talk to me.  It will be great to get their perspectives on their father and this project.